Piadas

I'D JUST COME OUT OF THE SHOP WITH A ROAST BEEF SANDWICH, LARGE CHIPS, EAR OF CORN & A JUMBO SAUSAGE. A POOR HOMELESS MAN SAT
THERE AND SAID 'I'VE NOT EATEN FOR TWO DAYS.' I TOLD HIM, 'I WISH
I HAD YOUR WILL POWER.'

A FAT GIRL SERVED ME IN MCDONALD'S AT LUNCHTIME. SHE SAID 'SORRY
ABOUT THE WAIT'. I SAID, ' DON'T WORRY, YOU'LL FIND A WAY TO LOSE
IT EVENTUALLY'.

I WALKED PAST A BLACK KID SITTING AT A BUS STOP AS I WENT INTO
THE BANK. WHEN I CAME OUT, HE LOOKED AT ME AND SAID 'ANY CHANGE?
I SAID, 'NOPE, YOU'RE STILL BLACK'.

SNOW IN THE FORECAST AND THE TV WEATHER GAL SAID SHE WAS
EXPECTING 8 INCHES TONIGHT. I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, 'FAT CHANCE',
WITH A FACE LIKE THAT!

YEARS AGO IT WAS SUGGESTED THAT AN APPLE A DAY KEPT THE DOCTOR
AWAY. BUT SINCE ALL THE DOCTORS ARE NOW MUSLIM, I'VE FOUND THAT A
BACON SANDWICH WORKS BEST!

JAPANESE SCIENTISTS HAVE NOW CREATED A CAMERA WITH SUCH A
FANTASTIC SHUTTER SPEED THAT IT IS NOW POSSIBLE TO TAKE A
PHOTOGRAPH OF A WOMAN WITH HER MOUTH CLOSED.

I HATE ALL THIS TERRORIST BUSINESS. I USED TO LOVE THE DAYS WHEN
YOU COULD LOOK AT AN UNATTENDED BAG ON A TRAIN OR BUS AND THINK
TO YOURSELF. 'I'M GOING TO TAKE THAT.'

MAN IN A HOT AIR BALLOON IS LOST OVER IOWA. HE LOOKS DOWN AND
SEES A FARMER IN THE FIELDS AND SHOUTS TO HIM, WHERE AM I? THE
FARMER LOOKS BACK UP AND SHOUTS BACK. YOU'RE IN A BASKET YOU DUMB
SHIT!

I HAD A BIG LEAD IN A TRIVIA COMPETITION AT A LOCAL BAR UNTIL THE
LAST QUESTION WHICH I GOT WRONG. THE QUESTION WAS WHERE DO WOMEN
HAVE THE CURLIEST HAIR? FIJI WAS THE CORRECT ANSWER....HELL, HOW
DID I KNOW THEY WANTED THE NAME OF A COUNTRY?

I TOOK MY BIOLOGY EXAM LAST FRIDAY. I WAS ASKED TO NAME TWO
THINGS COMMONLY FOUND IN CELLS. APPARENTLY "BLACKS" AND
"MEXICANS" WERE NOT THE CORRECT ANSWERS.

I'VE LEARNED THAT PLEASING EVERYONE IS IMPOSSIBLE BUT PISSING
EVERYONE OFF IS A PIECE OF CAKE!

Bonne Chance! Paola